A Mikvah Reflection
My mikvah story begins with my first immersion, before my wedding. This was in Rochester, NY in December, and the heater was broken. The mikvah attendant told me I didn’t have to go in, it would be fine. It was important to me, and I wanted the experience of immersion to mark this transition to being a bride, attaching my life to someone else’s.
The water was freezing, and I don’t remember if I immersed more than once, but in the moment I felt bonded with Jewish women in history who went through so much to observe the mitzvah of mikvah in their lives. Women in Siberia and other cold climates - they had no concept of a heated mikvah at any time. The mikvah may have been hidden in a closet or down a dark staircase. They immersed in the ice cold water to mark their transitions, to becoming a bride, to be intimate with their husband. I was now a part of that chain.
I continued a mikvah practice in our marriage and when we were trying to start our family the mikvah became a place of healing for me. Our fertility journey took years and led down many roads, and each time I met with a roadblock, the mikvah became the place where I could turn the page to try again. The fertility journey can be arduous, especially in the public eye of the “cantor’s wife.” In the synagogue there are children aplenty, and people at various stages of pregnancy. It wasn’t working for us. It was hard to get the strength up sometimes, but when I left the mikvah I felt refreshed, renewed, able to think clearly about what a next step might be. Grief was left in the water and I could focus on what lay ahead.
There are many who turn to the mikvah for similar reasons. I have guided women who immersed before an IVF cycle or after a miscarriage. The mikvah waters are healing for other journeys of both mental and physical health - cancer, sobriety, trauma. These heavier moments are not the only reasons to come to the living waters. I have had parents expecting the birth of a first or second child come in anticipation of the transition to parenthood or their growing family.
Individuals seek time in the mikvah to mark retirement, a birthday, becoming a grandparent or graduating. The transitions in our lives keep presenting themselves, and for each the mikvah can be a place of acceptance, embracing or letting go.
Over the last 25+ years in the Chicago community, our mikvah has helped many people move through the joys, trials, and transitions of life. Now, in the current climate we live in, it can be even more of a support. Jews are seeking places to get in touch with our tradition and a way to connect with themselves, their spirit and community. Through immersion in the mikvah, along with extended programming provided by the mikvah, more individuals will be able to find a moment of peace and escape. The mikvah can be an oasis, away from the negativity and challenges we face daily. When one arrives at the mikvah with the need to heal, we support them so they can leave with a lighter burden. When one arrives with the goal of celebration and joy, we rejoice with them, so they leave even more buoyant. When mikvah users emerge from the water – whatever temperature it may be! – they will bring with them a renewed spirit and heightened vitality out into our community, our city, and our world.
My mikvah story begins with my first immersion, before my wedding. This was in Rochester, NY in December, and the heater was broken. The mikvah attendant told me I didn’t have to go in, it would be fine. It was important to me, and I wanted the experience of immersion to mark this transition to being a bride, attaching my life to someone else’s.
The water was freezing, and I don’t remember if I immersed more than once, but in the moment I felt bonded with Jewish women in history who went through so much to observe the mitzvah of mikvah in their lives. Women in Siberia and other cold climates - they had no concept of a heated mikvah at any time. The mikvah may have been hidden in a closet or down a dark staircase. They immersed in the ice cold water to mark their transitions, to becoming a bride, to be intimate with their husband. I was now a part of that chain.
I continued a mikvah practice in our marriage and when we were trying to start our family the mikvah became a place of healing for me. Our fertility journey took years and led down many roads, and each time I met with a roadblock, the mikvah became the place where I could turn the page to try again. The fertility journey can be arduous, especially in the public eye of the “cantor’s wife.” In the synagogue there are children aplenty, and people at various stages of pregnancy. It wasn’t working for us. It was hard to get the strength up sometimes, but when I left the mikvah I felt refreshed, renewed, able to think clearly about what a next step might be. Grief was left in the water and I could focus on what lay ahead.
There are many who turn to the mikvah for similar reasons. I have guided women who immersed before an IVF cycle or after a miscarriage. The mikvah waters are healing for other journeys of both mental and physical health - cancer, sobriety, trauma. These heavier moments are not the only reasons to come to the living waters. I have had parents expecting the birth of a first or second child come in anticipation of the transition to parenthood or their growing family.
Individuals seek time in the mikvah to mark retirement, a birthday, becoming a grandparent or graduating. The transitions in our lives keep presenting themselves, and for each the mikvah can be a place of acceptance, embracing or letting go.
Over the last 25+ years in the Chicago community, our mikvah has helped many people move through the joys, trials, and transitions of life. Now, in the current climate we live in, it can be even more of a support. Jews are seeking places to get in touch with our tradition and a way to connect with themselves, their spirit and community. Through immersion in the mikvah, along with extended programming provided by the mikvah, more individuals will be able to find a moment of peace and escape. The mikvah can be an oasis, away from the negativity and challenges we face daily. When one arrives at the mikvah with the need to heal, we support them so they can leave with a lighter burden. When one arrives with the goal of celebration and joy, we rejoice with them, so they leave even more buoyant. When mikvah users emerge from the water – whatever temperature it may be! – they will bring with them a renewed spirit and heightened vitality out into our community, our city, and our world.